“In yourself right now is all the place you’ve got.”
As the year-end approaches, I’m becoming nostalgic about everything in my life. A lot of questions are popping out in my head; where will I be in the years ahead? What will I be like? At 28 years old – I pretty much haven’t figured out what to do with my life. I thought I had everything figured out since I like planning ahead but when I hit a roadblock, I got lost, terrified, and fear that all of it might be put in vain again. I guess it’s because I planned a life ahead with someone and that someone chose a different path and it broke me into pieces. So, this coming year, I decided to dedicate it to myself; in improving myself and being self-reliant.
2019 is not over yet so I can’t sum it up but just like the others years had passed, it has been a roller-coaster and I guess we can all expect that it’ll be the same in 2020. However, everything that happened this year is a preparation to face our life heads on with great anticipation and hope that everything will get better. Life is really uncertain and no amount of preparation can save us from pain, loss, and loneliness but life teaches us how to handle it with grace and faith. We should always remember that God won’t give us more than we can handle.
This coming year, I have a couple of goals but on top of my list is my emotional well-being. Working abroad is not easy, it is stressful and lonely. I really admire all of the OFW’s who chose to stay and work abroad to support their families despite the hardship and longing. I’ve been independent for quite so long; I am used to being far from my family and I am not a crybaby. However, I am really surprised to feel emotionally weak, stressed out, and depressed quite often this year. I break down without anyone knowing, I cried a lot, feel lonely even though I know that I have friends here. So, this 2020 – I promise to take care of my emotional state, be self-sufficient, and be happy.